I was surprised by my emotional response to weeds during my recent New Zealand road tour. It started with a visit to a Kaikoura property where the garden’s intersection with the paddock was filled with hemlock, dock and cleavers (known in my family as “Sticky Weed”). I grew up on a farm with a large kitchen garden, and so much of my early life was dedicated to the eradication of problem plants. And yet here I was almost glad to connect with familiar friends. They just don’t grow here where I live. Probably not cold and damp enough.

Rumex obtusifolius (Broad leafed Dock) were probably the most problematic weeds of my childhood. Their roots, which can reach 5 feet in length, have the potential to regenerate, from even the smallest pieces, as long as they are buried in the ground. And so the secret is to dig them out early and never ever allow them to seed.

For some reason we had a patch of hemlock (Conium maculatum) growing in our garden near the sawdust pit where I played as a preschooler. My mother was not impressed when I harvested a few plants and brought them inside to cook up. Hemlock doesn’t taste that great, which is a good thing, considering the highly toxic nature of all parts of the plant.

Cleaver (Galium aparine), also shown above, was known in our family as “Stickyweed” and is also called Goosegrass. The plant has velcro-like properties and is spread by animals carrying its small burrs in their wool or fur (or socks). Believe it or not the seeds can be roasted and use to make a tea. However I hate it. This weed has the capacity to smother any plants it sprawls over.

Couch grass, also known as Twitch, is a great grass for growing pastures and lawns quickly. But it’s a pain in the garden. The roots travel long distances and have the capacity to regenerate if they’re given a chance, even from small pieces. I used to have dreams about this plant’s roots, after spending hours digging it up. My mother’s commitment to organic gardening principles meant that herbicide was out of the question. I like the principle of organic gardening, but when it comes to dealing with Couch there’s no better way than repeated use of Roundup.

And then there’s Barley Grass (Hordeum murinum subsp. leporinum), which I found again on the outskirts of Christchurch. Before the seed heads form on this grass, it’s OK. But the seeds are a problem, getting caught in wool and in some cases injuring or killing lambs that eat it. This plant deserves Roundup and nothing less.

I spent a summer eradicating gorse (Ulex) that had grown out of control on the family farm. I developed a strange affinity with those thorny shrubs, something like the Stockholm Syndrome. I found it very satisfying to axe, grub, burn and bulldoze those invasive blighters. But the sight and smell of the yellow flowers reminds me of idyllic days fishing for trout on streams surrounded by gorse.

Now it’s back to the Gold Coast, Australia, with a garden too dry to grow much of anything inentionally, let alone weeds, and a lawn in which hardy grass survives by outliving broadweeds through drought.