If you love your father or mother or even your sons and daughters more than me, you are not fit to be my disciples. And unless you are willing to take up your cross and come with me, you are not fit to be my disciples. If you try to save your life, you will lose it. But if you give it up for me, you will surely find it.
Matthew 10:37-39 (Contemporary English Version)
Back in 1985 I led my youth group through a role-played wedding. We had a mock ceremony complete with bride and groom dressed up for the occasion, with their attendants. The ‘wedding’ was followed by a mock wedding feast with speeches. At the end of the feast, the bride stands up and tells us how wonderful it is to be married. And now she’s going back home. She’s looking forward to catching up with the groom at church on Sundays!
Of course we could see that this was no commitment. This ‘couple’ were role playing the beginning of a meaningless marriage. Neither the bride nor groom was really prepared to give up being single in order to be with each other.
It’s this kind of scenario that Jesus addresses as he raises the challenge. Are you prepared to come with me now? Will you put loyalty to me before other relationships? It’s a challenge for people considering the cost of following Jesus for the rest of their lives. What would happen if the ‘love of their life’ does not want to follow in the footsteps of Jesus? What if their kids would think they’re weird? What if Mum and Dad don’t approve?
Now this translation of the scripture is much kinder than the traditional one, in which Jesus demands that we hate our father, mother, sons and daughters. I think it’s a helpful way to frame the challenge to our idolatry of family.
But I’m also wondering about the other idols we have that may come between us and total surrender. The idol of having everyone thinking the same. The idol of freedom of thought. The idol of recreation. The idol of work. The idol of success. The idol of relaxation. The idol of popularity. The idol of being counter-cultural.