I’ve been working with colleagues on alternative approaches to ‘closing the deal’ in evangelism training. We’re committed to helping people avoid manipulation. And we’re commited to finding a flexible approach that takes seriously the variety of ways in which people first encounter the good news of Jesus. So here’s a talk I’ve prepared for one of the sessions. What do you think?
Coaching for Response using the ‘GROW’ model
Have you ever thought about your role as a coach for people considering their response to God. When I coach church planters and other leaders, I use the word, “GROW” as we focus on their next steps. G stands for Goals. R stands for Reality. O stands for Options. W stands for What Will You Do? So how might that look in a conversation about faith?
Goal
First of all the goal. In the last session we talked about finding what God is doing in the person’s life. What is the good news to which God is calling this person to respond? Of course – Jesus himself is the good news. In this person Jesus we see God in the flesh – God with skin on.
In the way that Jesus lived we’ve been given a glimpse of the character of God – even 2000 years later. In his death something amazing has happened that has made it possible for us to be in full relationship with God without fear of rejection. And in his resurrection we have the assurance that there is so much more to life than we see between birth and death. The resurrection shows that this Jesus is not just a great guy, but is indeed God with us. And the good news doesn’t stop there. It continues with the offer of God coming to live in our lives through the Holy Spirit.
If that’s the good news for all of us, how is God calling your friend to respond? Maybe it is to work through the four spiritual laws – fronting up to sin – broken relationship with God, and accepting the total forgiveness of God. Maybe God’s calling your friend to learn to trust again – trust the acceptance of God, the acceptance of God’s people, learning to live with faith. Perhaps God is calling your friend to put their life on the line, like the rich young ruler, and give away a life focused on acquiring money and possessions.
You get the idea? There’s a personal response that you may not be able to predict. Now, maybe your friend already knows what needs to happen. Maybe they need to do a bit more thinking. A non threatening way to find out where your friend is at after sharing your story and explaining the good news, is to ask, ” How does that all sound to you? Make sure you stop talking at this point and let your friend name where they’e at.
Reality
So we now move on to R for realities. If they’re ready to respond, what will that mean in reality? We’ll talk through the implications. What will it mean for existing relationships? Will it change lifestyle? And what would happen if your friend puts off a response or decides not to respond? The chances are that your friend’s prepared to make a short-term response to God. “I’ll go this far with you”. That’s OK. After all, the disciples of Jesus went on short trips with him before becoming life-long followers.
Options
This is where we look at O for Options. Lsten for what’s holding your friend back and check whether they’d be interested in you supporting them as they work their faith issues through. For while they may not be ready to make a life-long response they could still be interested in taking a “next step” that they would see as helpful.
For example:
- watching a relevant DVD on world religions – how does Jesus compare?
- attending a small group with you – what’s it like to be a follower of Jesus?
- trying a prayer experiment where over a month they make a conscious effort to talk to Jesus as though he’s real for them,
- getting to meet your Christian friends – they may want to know that they can be a Christian without losing their sense of personality.
- reading a book on spirituality
- listening to Christian music
- reading the Bible or perhaps listening to it on CD. Maybe they could use an appropriate study guide to help them know where to start.
- taking part in a service project
- going on recreational activities with Christians
The key thing is to keep connecting with your seeking friend supporting them with whatever steps they need to take to get closer to Jesus. For most people who become and continue as Christ followers, coming to faith takes time and usually best happens in the context of a supportive and accepting relationship with others. Helping your friend experience accepting, inclusive Christian community is pretty much always a good move.
Will Do
OK – we’ve looked at options. The “what could you do”. Now as you finish this part of the conversation you owe it to your friend to ask what they will do. That’s the W from GROW. Let’s say your friend is ready to make a life-long commitment to Jesus Christ now, trusting in him Saviour and following him as Lord of their life. If so that’s great. Celebrate the occasion with your friend and pray with them as they affirm the step taken. A simple prayer that they could repeat phrase by phrase after you aloud (or in silence if they prefer) could be helpful, eg: “Jesus, I’m coming to you now as best I know how. Thank you for coming into the world, dying on the cross and rising to life again so that I could have a personal relationship with God through you. I thankfully receive you into my life. Live your life in me and through me. Amen.”
And if they’re going to do some more exploring, you could make a time to follow it up to find out how they got on.
What we’re talking about here is getting on board with what the Holy Spirit is doing. Remember to ask for the Spirit’s courage, wisdom and compassion as you go.
The GROW model of coaching was developed by John Whitmore, a sports and business coach from the UK.
Whitmore believes that people are able to change only areas of performance of which they are aware. Whitmore encourages coaches to use questions to raise the responsibility of the ‘client’. In his third edition of the book, “Coaching for Performance”, he moves beyond achievement to issues of purpose and life meaning.
Thanks for posting that Duncan. I think what you’ve got there is a very helpful model mainly because it appears to be flexible in it’s application. Well designed.