When Someone Sins
If one of my followers sins against you, go and point out what was wrong. But do it in private, just between the two of you. If that person listens, you have won back a follower. But if that one refuses to listen, take along one or two others. The Scriptures teach that every complaint must be proven true by two or more witnesses. If the follower refuses to listen to them, report the matter to the church. Anyone who refuses to listen to the church must be treated like an unbeliever or a tax collector.
Allowing and Not
Allowing I promise you that God in heaven will allow whatever you allow on earth, but he will not allow anything you don’t allow. I promise that when any two of you on earth agree about something you are praying for, my Father in heaven will do it for you. Whenever two or three of you come together in my name, I am there with you.
Matthew 18:15-20 Contemporary English Version
What Jesus is talking about here points to the power of community. The power of ‘brothers’ to honestly confront each other over the impact of their actions – that reminds me of the impact of intervention in addictive situations. A partner, flatmate or family member telling an addict how their addiction is affecting the relationship. And if that doesn’t sink in, a wider group of family and friends fronting up with the truth.
This is an excellent alternative to the vindictive campaigns taken against people in many churches. Jesus helps us recognise that it may take more than an individual or small group to balance the power structures in which an abusive person sees no reason to listen or change their behaviour.
So where do we draw the line between mutual accountability and spiritual abuse? A community intent on carrying out Jesus’ instructions for healthy conflict resolution can end up carrying out an inquisition focusing on who’s in and who’s out.
Let’s be careful here – so that Jesus’ instructions stay good news for community rather than words of destruction.