I spent the day yesterday at a workshop led by Eric Law, a Chinese American Episcopalian priest from Los Angeles. The workshop focused on dealing respectfully with diversity. There were a few aha moments. I’ll post them separately tonight.
Respectful communication
We looked at a covenant that could be used to help people deal with difficult topics. People agree to:
R – take RESPONSIBILITY for what you say and feel without blaming others
E – use EMPATHETIC listening
S – be SENSITIVE to differences in communication styles
P – PONDER what you hear and feel before you speak
E – EXAMINE your own assumptions and perceptions
C – Keep CONFIDENTIALITY
T – TRUST ambiguity because we are NOT here to debate who is right or wrong.
It was the last commitment that could provide difficulty for some. Some people attend meetings to let other people know they’re wrong. Eric pointed out that there’s no point in turning up with that attitude.
I’m thinking I might use this covenant at the beginning of the Queensland Synod gathering in September . I’m looking after 30 small groups of eight).
To back up this concept of respectful communication, Eric gave us the small group model of ‘mutual invitation’. The leader shares first and then invites another to share. After that person has passed or spoken he or she invites another to share. This continues until everyone has spoken, and everyone has had an opportunity to invite someone else to share. An empowering model for the shy. A restraining model for the verbose.