(Another article from TURN, a theological reflection blog I developed with a team in the Queensland Synod). On Sunday, Jan, her husband Theo, and the children went to church and during the prayers of intercession, Jan asked for prayers for her family as they worked through their response to a diagnosis of ADHD for their son.
After church Jan’s elder offered to come around that afternoon for a chat.
When the elder arrived at the house, Jan made a cup of tea while the elder sat and watched the kids playing in the back yard.
“Is Theo around?” she asked. “He had a call from a client.” said Jan.
“I’ll be back as soon as he can. He works such long hours – he is really doing his best, he wants to create a great life for us and I really love him for it.”
“It seems like you were pretty busy in the last week too,” said the elder.
“Yes”, sighed Jan, “We are always so busy, and with the extra time needed to deal with this ADHD stuff, I am finding it really difficult.”
“So you do most of the stuff when it comes to the kids?” asked the elder.
“Yes”, said Jan, “Theo’s business is starting to take off and I want to support him as well as the kids.” The elder said, “I have been thinking lately about the way we order our lives, and as Christians I wonder if we do the family/work thing well at all. Our faith is about mutual relationships and honouring and respecting each other, but we still tend to fall into traditional roles.”
“Tell me about it,” said Jan.
“But I am seriously considering giving up the teacher aide position. Even though I love it, I cannot fi t everything into my life at the moment. I could just do the book work at home for Theo and have more time for the kids. I was also thinking of giving up leading Girls Brigade on Friday nights.”
“Have you talked about this with Theo?”, asked the elder.
“The decisions Theo makes about his work also affect you all as a family.”
At that moment Theo arrived home. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there when you arrived”, he said, “It is just that some things are really urgent.”
To most people “theology” sounds like an academic exercise with little relevance to everyday life. However we all do theology in some way. Our assumptions about God, the world, and how we interact with each other are all interconnected.
The conversation between Jan and the elder is encouraging reflection on their assumptions. The elder’s questions are encouraging Jan and Theo to look at the systems under the surface in their relationships with each other, with their son, with their church and ultimately with God. We could call this “systemic theology”.
As an ex psychiatric social worker I feel that the diagnosis of ADHD is given too freely to children and we mustn’t react too much to the diagnosis itself. The doctors are not trained in labelling, stigma, psychological aspects of the very process of ‘diagnosis.’ Imagine telling someone they’ve got cancer then saying “don’t worry.”